Friday, October 30, 2009

Interview With A Vampire

Today at school we were visited by many remarkable people, and School Head Dennis had a chance to sit down and talk with one visitor in particular.

DH: Welcome to Wellsprings, Mr. V.
We are a non-violent community here. You look pretty scary. I hope you won’t do anything…unpleasant.

MrV: Oh, no, don’t be afraid!
I am a vegetarian vampire! I don’t drink human blood. I get blood from ...TURNIPS …TOMATOES … TOMATILLOS …

DH: That’s a relief.
A lot of us are vegetarians too. And we have an organic garden. Perhaps you could volunteer to help us with that?

MrV: Sure.
You know, in fact, I don’t sleep in a coffin—I sleep in a greenhouse.

DH: Wow, that’s awesome.
How else are you different from those other vampires?

MrV: Well, you know sometimes people try kill my vampire cousins with a silver bullet or something, but that doesn’t work
on our branch of the family. Please don’t tell anyone, but the surest way to kill a vegetarian vampire is to drive…a t-bone steak, right through the heart! Just kidding. But if you force us to EAT a steak, we keel over dead in minutes.

DH: I’ll be sure to keep that a secret, Mr. V., though veggie vampires aren’t the only folks to be hurt by too much red meat…
Anyway, is there any other thought you’d like to leave us with today?

MrV: Everyone knows the saying, “don’t judge a book by its cover.”
And please don’t judge a vampire by his fangs.

Interview With A VampireSocialTwist Tell-a-Friend